I have been saving a draft message in my e-mail for a couple years now and just noticed I haven’t updated it in quite a long time. It was a list of spam subjects that, for better or for worse, caught my eye.
I am not exactly sure why I stopped updating it. It sure isn’t because I am getting less Spam (I regularly flush the spam folder when it hits about 250 messages…which is every couple of hours). Has spam just become less interesting? Have I matured from a grade nine sense of humour? I doubt it. I think it started to go down hill when they went 1337 and started to replace letters with numbers (V1@GR@), got robots to place random nonsensical words together (still a potential recipe for hilarity, but who wants to shift through the crap?) and, of course, the dreaded image spam that has been plaguing people as of late.
I am not saying a spam won’t ever catch my eye again, but it seems like the glory days of semi-amusing spamage are behind us. The list is inside if you are bored…reader discretion is advised:
Health Information: Colon Cleaner
Lebanese Customs Clearance Services
Get ol’ one eye pumping again
Home of the BIG MEATY SAUSAGE SPECIAL!
Dont put away your summer clothes just yet
My legs are really hairy.
What went wrong with my erection?
NO ONE SHOULD PAY RETAIL
Friend, I was in tears
Small beavers getting pumped like never before
Turn back your body’s biological clock
She’s got enough tit to feed a family of four
Don’t Let Someone Steal Your Identity
Feed Birds not Squirrels!
What have you been smokin’?
Cinnamon Bun Candles!
We have Sticky Buns!
Read this before you get one day balder
I owe you money.
Re: Peel Away the Pounds – Jitter Free
Going bald is no joke, so what’s so funny?
I speak to geeks.
hey retard, what are you doing?
This will be the best email you ever read
Now You Can Finally Have “It” Too!
bother needs help
New discovery ends spam the easy way!
Would you like to know if he really knows Excel, Word and Access?
Eat pizza, watch TV … AND LOSE 22 POUNDS!
You once asked us about this package
Biggee your penis 3 inches in 22 days
Tired of worrying about your Septic Tank?
Youngest New Car Dealer in America
lose weight with apples?
Pasta Pro – The Better Pasta Pot. On Sale
It is Fun Dating Hot Housewives
Moon Land For Sale! Unbelievable but true.
Become a Paralegal online!
This Stun Gun is also a Flashlight
Infrared Thermometer – Gadget of the Year!
This Coffee Tastes Incredible
This Crazy Unknown Liquid. it Really Works..
Eat Pizza for Charity
RELYING ON DUCT TAPE?
Get an issue of Handy magazine and a 14-in-1 tool!
Doct0rs create new penis pills
I jammed the babysitter
You’ve got Perfect Buns…
2000 Year old bread recipe actually helps you lose weight!
MAKE HER BEG FOR MORE! VIAGRA ONLINE
WARNING – INTERNET PREDATOR
MEAT STARVED NIMPHO’S
this ought to make you laugh
STOP SNORING IMMEDIATELY….
Get The 411 On Anyone and Anything !
Guess who has a Crush on you!
We Have Mortgage Lenders Ready to Help You!
come watch me on my web cam!
Increases circulation in men for erections.
University Girls Experiment 24/7…
you’re gonna leave her with a big smile!
The perfect investment tool has arrived
Interest rates were just lowered.
Believe it so, and then make it happen!
Loud snoring keeping you or loved ones awake? New SnoreRx can help!……
Let us show you how to Outperform the Dow Jones industrial average
Strike Internet gold
Easily lose fat In ONE HOUR . . .
Pill to Increase Your Ejaculation by 581%
Your Fortune Cookie
Reveal the Caramilk Secret!
Hot Little Package
GET BIG, RIPPED, STRONG! REAL ANABOLIC PHARMACEUTICALS!*
Are you losing your child?
Hi, Frank, Here is my personal information
were giving vegas trips away
Sell your Beanie Babies for Top $$$$CASH PAID FOR BEANIE BABIES $$$
Newly Patented Kegel Exercise For Females Only…
Fat women looking for sex
Sticky N Sweet
How To Make Love Till Your Drop
Learn how you can be SMILING as gas prices RISE…
Why haven’t you claimed your FREE phone?
Parents of 15-year-old find $71,000 cash in his closet !
If you are a Spammer, you need THIS!
Increase sexual energy – Reduce body fat!
Animals Like You Have Never Seen..
Girls Who Love Horses
Sluts who think dogs are GIRLS best friend
Do Oil Prices have your company going Crazy?
SPLURGE on YOURSELF!
New VIP Nympho Babes
MY FATHER’S WILL
ELECTRICITY for FREE
Hi Jack, Here is my home phone number
Feeling Old? We Can Help!
The Internet can be dangerous!
We are looking someone like you?
Do you need to lose weight, quit smoking, or do you just feel depressed?
Be a Magnet that ONLY ATTRACTS WOMEN
Married Women Know Best
Does Financial Freedom Interest You?
I’ve done all the GRUNT WORK so you don’t have to!!!
Technology and Innovation take the Hassle out of Mortgages!
Do you want dinner?
Nasty Girls for your taste buds
What is your Long Distance Company?
Viagra To Your Door
Dr. Dean Edell – Is Human Growth Hormone The Fountain Of Youth?
Is Your Cell Phone Killing You ?
BANNED CD! BANNED CD!
Hello,japanese lass’ sexy pictures
How would you like to be called – REVEREND?
Viagra Fedexed to you – no doctors fmy
Don’t Be Late!!! –A cool way to get out of bed
Architectural Elements Super Source with Prices!
Stop playing with that measuring tape!
Congratulations. You lost 100 hairs today
Using our program, you will see BIG results..LITERALLY!
NEW Pot Substitute!
Men-Get Hard – Stay Hard!!
The Super Strobe-A-Thon!
I’ll love you more if you stop going bald
Burn Fat While you Sleep!
The Pleasures of Being a MAN….Part 1
Enlargement of the penis – no surgery !
septic tank care…
INSTANT ACCESS to a LARGER MANHOOD!
You only THINK you’re a U.S. citizen!
Melt Fat with Phentermine
Ever wonder how to please your lover?
Real, Legal Protection! Stun Guns! New Cell Phone Stun Gun!
Follow The Bread Crumbs
Diamond Cut Jeans – They just fit better
Useful Septic Tank Information
Cleanse the intestine.
WHITE TEETH WITHOUT THE BILL!!!
RUIN ANYONE ANYWHERE ANYTHING
Watch mommy and sis go at it on the farm!
Sexy Sammi and her Slutty Schoolgirl Sorority
Do you need money for your numerous activities?
I Was in tears
want a bigger penis? Do it naturally?
Bedrukte CD-R’s voor de prijs van blanco – Wegens succes verlengd
Personal Alcohol Detector
A Midget Driving a TANK…..
Curiosity Killed The Cat, Satisfaction Brought It Back!
Lose weight while you sleep
Have skin like a model
Scientifically attract GIRLS (and GUYS!)
Clean up your act!
Watch Bums Beat Each Other Up
BUM FIGHTS! WATCH!
ACCORDING TO WOMEN MORE IS BETTER!!!
Spy on your kids
Trace Your Family Tree For Free
Your computer can READ
KISSES FROM YOUR FRIEND
Friend, Huge Pillar Candles!
Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
Huge Pillar Candles!
BOYCOTT the state of FLORIDA
4 Christian Audiobooks for a Penny + FREE Alarm Clock!
I insult your mother!
Nationwide Internet Access for Pennies
re: Your Bowels Cleaned
Stop going bald, time is still on your side
Are You Gay? Wanna Be ;)
Horses Having Fun
Married but flirting people are looking for someone to save them
Eat More Pasta!
Have the Best Shower of Your Life Guaranteed
What do pets, cell phones and car keys have in common?
re: Your Bowels Cleansed
Friend, look it’s implausibly awesome.
Never lose another mobile phone.
Friend, Spy Ear Blowout!
Important Pet Halloween News
Amazing Super Grip
You Have Money Waiting
Climax Control For Men, Climax Release For Women
NEW! Simpsons Talking Beer Opener!
WHY CHALLENGE THE ADVICE OF A BILLIONAIRE?
Parents of 15 Year Old Find $71,000 Cash Hidden in Closet
WHO IS YOUR DADDY AND WHAT DOES HE DO?
Lose Weight while you shower!
The ULTIMATE Guide to Getting Women!
diabetes supplies at your door- no paper work
I think I found your dog
Imagine your life without bills.
Would you like to last up to 45 minutes?
Open A Dollar Store Today
Own YOUR own Spirituality
Marry a sexy Russian woman.
Two T-Bones for 1 Cent
You Can Have Beautiful Hair
The Last FlashLight You Will Ever Buy!
a pill a day takes the fat away
Tired of worrying about your Septic Tank?
make it stand and salute
Marry an unspoiled, attractive woman
Protect yourself and your family from a nuclear disaster!
Iraqi woman forced to prostitute by war.
These IRAQI wimen don’t resist anymore.
Special Forces Dephile and Pillage These Iraqi Whores
Its the biggest piece of Pork she ever had…
Live or Die – the Choice is Yours
GET AHEAD WITH YOUR MILITARY BENEFITS
Bone Density loss?
Earn Your Degree in Criminal Justice.
Experienced maniacs masterbate when showing their victim a knife
“Want a BIG Penis?”
My horse has broken my hymen
Make your own Robot easily !
Don’t waste your money on dates
Tired of Dating Spoiled American Women?
will then stay at this length forever.
It’s a Watch and a Money Clip!
Hardcore Dreams By Hyper-Mail
3/4’s of women want it larger
Better Than Botox. Check It Out Now. Click Here.
14 GROUPS OF CHINESE PRODUCTS
BeaverFloor: FREE FLOORING SAMPLES
Like Porn with Girls and Horses?
Time to grow that schlong!
What Listerine and Crest don’t want you to know…
– Satisfy your w0man you pindick
Time to gr0w that schl0ng!
I want to be your naked personal assistant.
Know how much you can drink before the wheel?
Racoon doing fellation
YOUR DICK BIGGER THAN A CLUB!
Talking Toilet Paper. click here
Krazy kars Insane prices
Daughter’s ass in father’s hands
Are you like Richard…searching for answers?
My mother goin’ to blow me
Tickle me silly
stop doing that to yourself
Most Popular Place for Robots, Battlebots, Hobbies, & Toys
My shady past
Free Sample Of Septic Treatment
Build Muscle & Build Fat w/ Cross Bow
Fried Chicken, Mashed Potatoes, Warm Biscuits ON US
How is your husband?
Important COLON info
Tenage guy jerking off undressed ahead of gay’s band
Immoral family entertainment in nasty poses
Images so beautiful your nuts will pop
Amoral perverted family fantasies
Non-surgical Lip’s Plumping Treatment
PB & J ,Monkey Poo and more Fun Pages
Grandfather is recalling youth by doing his granddaughter
Sperm on mother’s breasts
Important COLON info
Put Down the Cigs!
Ice Cream for the whole family – on US!
I choose life instead of fat
I woke up from my obesity nightmare
That’s right glass vibrators!
Tools you need prickle to cr’e’ate your biz website
Office violence in motion
Secretaries, Housewifes, SchoolGirls…All them under our force!
Smack Her Snatch With Your Mammoth Johnson
Confirming Your Robosweep Order
I wanted him to pull out just before he popped so he could spray my face
He was really nice to me, took me out on his boat and stuck his dog in my
As play a wombat amputee